Buy a what?

If you want someone who will bring you the paper without first tearingit apart to remove the sports section. Adopt a dog.

If you want someone willing to make a fool of himself simply over thejoy of seeing you. Adopt a dog.

If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him andnever says its not quite as good as his mother made it. Adopt a dog.

If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour, for as longand wherever you want. Adopt a dog.

If you want someone who will never touch the remote, doesn't care aboutfootball, and can sit next to you as you watch romantic movies. Adopt adog.

If you want someone who is content to get up on your bed just to warmyour feet and whom you can push off if he snores. Adopt a dog.

If you want someone who never criticizes what you do, doesn't care ifyou are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old, who acts as if every wordyou say is especially worthy of listening to, and loves you unconditionally,perpetually. Adopt a dog.

But, on the other hand, If you want someone who will never come whenyou call, ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair all over theplace, walks allover you, runs around all night and only comes home to eat and sleep, andacts asif your entire existence is solely to ensure his happiness...........

Then my friend, Adopt a cat!

(You thought I was talking about men didn't you!)